Tweens/teens and the dreaded sex talk

[Mommy B]

I tried to get this conversation started on another mom network but it never really jumped off. I'd like to see how the Mamas here feel about it.

My parents' approach to the sex talk was basically DON'T DO IT and that was it. I know that approach absolutely did not work for me (I became sexually active as a young teen), so I try to be very available to my 15-year-old daughter for questions, and I also let her know about the mistakes I made at her age.

I feel like the better informed she is, the better the chances are that when a time comes that she is being pressured to have sex or is thinking about doing it, she will be able to make a smart decision or at least have the information needed to keep herself safe and protected.

I'm interested to hear how other tween/teen-Mamas are approaching the sex issue with their daughters (or sons).

[Mommy B]

I want to meet your mother! What an awesome no-nonsense lady! You and your brothers were very fortunate. You had a great role model for open an honest communication. You're going to do fine with your son.

[Amanda]

Too many kids that I went to school with feared even talking to their parents about this. The talk they'd received from their parents had been "don't or I'll kill you" and that was the end of it. I couldn't understand that, especially since my mom was the other way around. She was more of a "talk or i'll embarrass you in front of your friends," sort of mom. She never skimped, or waited until our friends were gone to chew us out, whatever the reason. And I found alot of my friends were calling MY MOM to ask her to take them to get Birth Control because they were afraid to ask their mom's. I was shocked, slightly, but kind of proud too. When I went off to college, I had a friend who oopsied, wasn't on anything, and didn't use a condom, she came to me, freaking out and I just about smacked her. There's this thing called plan B but she'd never had the talk, and didn't know what to do, so I had to take her to the clinic and help her ask to see a doctor about it. She was so nervous. I never want my kids to feel that nervous or uneducated about things.

[Tina Martin]

I remember growing up ... my mother gave me a book and actually said just don't do it.... well everyone knows how well that went LOL... anyways I have a very open policy with my teenagers. I talke constantly to the point, when the subject is brought up they roll their eyes and say how many times do we have to discuss this .... I have mostly girls so when the boyfriends come over I also have the talk with them too. Telling them that safety is the best policy, because we wouldn't want some psycho mother to obliterate them LOL...so I TRULY believe HONESTY is the best policy. They have a new show on MTV call 16 and pregnant. My daugher and I were watching it the other day and she turns to me and says I'm never having kids EVER lol.... well that worked that day LOL... just my opinion