A Need to Wean

[mango mama]

We take homework very seriously in this household--- come in the house after school, grab a snack and get down to the business of homework before any other activities commence. This has been the Mango Tribe’s m.o. since Olivia started kindergarten six years ago.
At first, I’d sit with Olivia and make sure she was following directions, completing the assignments neatly and had comprehensive understanding of the concepts being presented. It offered me and Loverman an opportunity to keep abreast of what she was learning in class. Olivia excels in school and now rarely needs the assistance of either Loverman or me in completing her homework. When Yannick started kindergarten three years ago, he fell lockstep into our established homework rhythm. But, unlike Olivia, he hasn’t weaned himself off of needing my full attention in finishing his homework. Olivia seemed the make a seamless transition from needing our help, to wanting to prove that she could do it well, all by herself. Yannick on the other hand, acts as if beyond writing his name on his homework sheet, he cannot do one single thing unless I’m sitting right next to him and his little co-dependency act is getting on my nerves, because I’m confident brother-man can competently do his homework without mommy’s handholding and cheerleading.

Now, if I mentioned this issue to Yannick’s teacher, she would encourage me to simply walk away from him and let him sink or swim, because their school’s always telling parents that the kids should be doing their homework with very little parental involvement. But, I believe both Olivia and Yannick’s success in school to date has a lot to do with the expectations and support we provide as parents. There is absolutely no way in hell I’d let Yannick turn in homework Loverman or I hadn’t reviewed. He’s 7 and his goal is to just get it done, whereas Loverman and I want it to be done well.

Yannick’s daily demand that I sit with him during his homework ordeal is wearing me out. When I ask (or sometimes bark) that he must do as much as he can before I’ll sit with me, he resorts to whining and that really works my nerves. It’s starting to become a battle and Lord knows, that’s not the vibe we want to set, because he has years of homework ahead.

[Rene Syler]

yeah that sounds about right, eh? I am totally living this as well.. **sigh**

[mango mama]

Hi Rene, I've been talking with a few of the parents at the kids' school and everyone tells me this is just how it is with boys...ugh! I guess I can't expect to simply be able to walk away, but assuming the position of hovering helicopter seems to be the next step in trying to get the little guy to do more on his own. We'll see!

[Rene Syler]

BTW, ADORABLE kids!

[Rene Syler]

I am living this as well! Cole is the same way. He doesn't have the confidence in himself to do it alone yet. What I do is leave him on his own with frequent pop ins.. will that work for you and Yannick?